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Words I Hate, & A Surprising Twist

There are many words that I hate. Hate to say, hate to hear. I hate some of them because of how they sound, and others because of what they remind me of. Here are some that I can think of off the top of my head, although there are many others.

1. Nuts. I HATE this word. I also do not care for the food by that name. If I have to refer to this item, I choose to call them specials. And I do NOT eat them.

2. Portion. Nastiest sounding word ever.

3. Moist. Just picture someone saying this as they bite into a fried chicken leg, chin glistening with grease.

4. Loaf. Say this word slowly, and you'll see why it's so awful. It just sounds terrible.

5. Lump. Josh and I both agree. This is disgusting.

Now for the Surprising Twist:

Josh and I bought a Nook.

Why is this surprising, you may ask? I hate the word "nook." It makes me shiver to say. Why, oh why, would you name your tablet (another shiver-inducing word) Nook? Barnes and Noble, what were you possibly thinking? Let's look at the competition in this hot market. Amazon: Kindle Fire. Very nice name. Not offensive in the least. Apple: iPad. Though I'm not crazy about this name, it's not that bad. I think they could have thought of something better, but it's not horrible. But the NOOK??? So you may ask why we picked it, and that would be an excellent question. It came down to economics. A family from church gave us a Barnes and Noble gift card, so the Nook would be the wise choice. But if I were a tablet namer, I would pick something both pleasant to say and mildly descriptive of the product. How about the Portal? The Portal to the internet? Or how about the Time Waster? Haha, just a joke. Anyway, I find that I have a hard time saying that I own a NOOK. I think I'll just change the name to Hook for my own purposes. Their symbol is a lowercase n, so if you just give the n an extra stick on top you have a lowercase h. Also I've always scoffed at the tablet craze since it was unclear to me what they did that was so important, but now I have one. I know my sister Marnie will find this particularly hard to believe. Open mouth, insert slice of humble pie.

Reflecting on 2011 In Some Fairly Inconsquential Ways

I was thinking today about some things that marked the year 2011 for me. So here we go... some of the random things that figured prominently in 2011 chez Desch:

1. The Johnny Cash Children's Album. This is a fabulous CD and has had much, much airtime at our house, starting in St Louis and continuing here.
2. Transitions of all kinds. From St Louis to Peoria to Teaneck, from a family of 4 to a family of 5, from student to pastor, from marginally sane mom to officially insane mom (mwahahahaha), from sedan to minivan, 1 car to 2 cars, from reasonable rent to ridiculous rent, from Grace & Peace to Grace Redeemer, etc.
3. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I could sing the theme song backwards in my sleep.
4. Missing friends. We said goodbye to so many dear friends in St Louis and it's hard to come from such a tight-knit community to starting over again in a new place.
5. Weather catastrophes and power outages. The snowpocalypse was forecasted in St Louis at the beginning of 2011, and although that was massively overblown, I'll still count it. New Jersey has held weather surprises, including a hurricane and fall blizzard, with several power outages of varying lengths thrown in for fun.
6. Library fines. Although fines are not particular to 2011, they were a continuing theme. I paid fines to close out accounts in St Louis, I paid fines in Peoria over the summer, and I'm paying fines in Teaneck. I actually discovered after we moved to Teaneck that I had packed a Peoria library book with our books. Dangit. You can believe I started getting notices about that. I paid the replacement fee and now it's ours. But I don't even like the book. The irony. Someone should name a library wing after me. Seriously.
7. Somewhat pathetic NFL watching. Usually we keep up with the NFL season religiously, but Peyton sat the whole season out and in Teaneck you watch either the Jets or the Giants. Period. It's been a bit of a downer season for us. But we're still watching the playoffs and cheering for the downfall of the Patriots, as usual. At least there's no opportunity for playoff heartache as usual with the Colts. I think I only listened to Mike & Mike twice the whole season. That is highly unusual.
8. Bad diet. This has been the year of the horrible family diet. We started packing the kitchen up in April, which led to a lot of Papa (Johns) in da house, then moved in with my parents where we let the boys have the full grandma and grandpa experience for a whole summer which meant lots of sweets, then moved to Teaneck and prepared to have a new baby in 6 weeks. That meant more pizza. Then Wren was born. At this point our new pizza place of choice (Victors) was practically on speed dial. Then we found this AMAZING licorice at Whole Foods. I would be content to be buried alive in it and forced to eat my way out for survival. Then we discovered how much we love bagels. Yeesh. One of my new year's resolutions was to start cooking again, and that means more than putting a hot dog in the microwave, pouring a bowl of cereal, pulling the wrapper off a lollypop, and preheating the oven for chicken nuggets. This is embarassing but I am in need of accountability. Please hold me to this.

Things I Love Today

1. Howie's school, which is in the basement of this beautiful church about 20 minutes from our house (on a good traffic day... yeesh). We love it. He has learned so much and grown tremendously from his class three afternoons a week, and we are so grateful for a good teacher for him! Below you can see some of the fruits of his hard work at school. I'm trying my best to help him learn at home too, which makes me even more thankful for his school... I do NOT think Howie and I would be a well-suited combo for homeschooling!! HAHAHAHA

2. These parenting DVDs from Paul Tripp. They are wonderfully helpful and so convicting too. I definitely recommend them. (Although Josh and I have an ongoing conversation about Paul Tripp. His brother Tedd wrote Shepherding a Child's Heart, which has very similar content, yet you never hear about Tedd Tripp. Did Paul steal his material and stuff him in his trunk or something??) That aside, this is a wonderful resource if you're interested.

3. These children's books by Kenneth Taylor. He did the Living Bible paraphrase, and I really like how he writes for children. The boys love this story Bible, even though it does include some really weird stories, like when the people of Israel disobeyed Moses and God opened the earth and swallowed some, and others like that... I know all Scripture is profitable, but in a Bible for kids? A little hard to explain. Anyway it's still a good book. My parents gave me the other book for my 3rd birthday!! Isn't that wild? I loved it as a kid and the boys really enjoy it too.

4. Pink tutus and gumball shoes.

5. Our church. The kids and I have had the privilege of having lots of playdates over the last few weeks with moms and kids from our church, and it has been a delight to get to know people from our new community better. We're so grateful for the warm welcome we've received!

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1: You've Almost Got To See It To Believe It

Believe it or not, to my shame, I've seen all of the Twilight movies. This is not something I'm proud of, and lest I be confused with a Twilight fan, I would like to give a review of Breaking Dawn Part 1, which I had the dubious honor of seeing with my sister last month.

The Quick Takeaway: This is the worst movie I've ever seen.

My sister Marnie and I decided in advance of our trip back to Peoria for Christmas that we would go see Twilight in the theater. We watched the first one together and nearly fell over laughing at many points, unintentionally funny of course. We looked up movie times and theaters to find out when we could go, and the movie was only playing still in 1 theater, 2 separate times. Should have been a sign of some kind. We decided to go to the late show, which started at 10:30ish or something. When we arrived there was already one couple in the theater, which made us a bit concerned... we knew that we would be annoying to the genuine fan since this movie was sure to prove hilarious. (side note: it was a couple!! on their anniversary!! this would be akin to me telling josh we were going to have our fingernails pulled off for our anniversary!!) They said they weren't real fans so no worries if we starting laughing. Phew. Then a middle-aged man walked in by himself. Twilight?? Whatever. The previews rolled and then came the film.

Oh. my. dear. goodness.

Sheer. comedy.

Worst. acting. ever.

Worst. screenplay. ever.

Here are some of my favorite highlights:

1. Edward invited Jacob to his and Bella's wedding as a wedding present for Bella. Do you really invite the man that your fiancee is still kind of in love with and barely passed up for you? Bella and Jacob shared a touching dance in the woods and you kind of got the idea that she was a little sorry she had picked Edward. Definitely not how I would choose to celebrate my wedding, by inviting your new wife to have a moment with her sort of ex that she still likes, but I'm not a vampire.

2. This line.

Edward: I'll see you at the altar.

Bella: I'll be the one in white.

Enough said on that.

3. Bella's entire pregnancy. Ridiculous. First of all, she started to feel the baby after 1 day of pregnancy, and the whole gestation seemed to last for about a month or so. While I wish pregnancy were this quick, it's not. Maybe I need to start carrying vampire babies.

4. Bella and Edward's names for their baby. Girl? Renesme, after their mothers Renee and Esme. That's a good one. Boy? E.J. for Edward Jacob. Going to name your son after your husband and the runner-up who you still kind of like? Classy. At least then you can look at your child and remember that you could have been a werewolf wife. (Why does Edward go along with this???) Bet you anything we start hearing the name Renesme as Twilight fans move into the childbearing years. You heard it here first.

5. Edward performing surgery on Bella with his teeth. At this point we were cackling. That was so ridiculous, with so little explanation of what was actually going on and why he was performing a c-section on his wife with his teeth. Disgusting. And just weird.

6. Said baby was born looking like Wren looks now. Maybe that was why her gestation was so short. (If you're curious, it was Renesme.)

7. The talking werewolves. They spoke the most horrible lines to each other. It was hilarious.

8. At one point Jacob suddenly turns into his werewolf self and in the process his shirt rips since his werewolf self is so big, and the teenage girls get a quick, luscious glance at Taylor Lautner's 6-pack. You knew that would be in there somewhere.

There were so many more moments that made us laugh- I really believe this was the worst movie I've ever seen, and once Josh picked out a movie where Nicolas Cage was a motorcycle rider whose head started on fire. I always knew it would take a lot to top that as worst movie ever, but Breaking Dawn took the cake. Never have I seen a franchise with a screenplay so poorly written- I haven't read the books and maybe these are just horrible adaptations, but the characters are horrible. They have the most wooden and context-less exchanges. Edward and Bella have no chemistry whatsoever and never have conversations that aren't frought with angst and manufactured emotion. The bottom line: I don't know why these movies are a phenomenon.

But if you're just looking for laughs, definitely rent this one! It won't disappoint.

Hilarious... Bjork on Iceland's Economy

Kristin Wiig impersonating Bjork makes me die laughing. If you've never heard Bjork's music, go listen to a quick sample and then watch this. TOO FUNNY!!!

Funniest Kids Movie EVER

I got this movie for the kids on the recommendation of my friend Lisa, and I'm pretty sure it's my favorite kids' movie EVER!! We all think this is hilarious. Pooh has such a sweet voice and I guess it's just so innocent. It's surprising to me sometimes how movies for children sneak in attitudes you would never want your child to adopt, or words you wouldn't want them to say... our boys both love Cars, but let's face it: Lightning McQueen is kind of a jerk. Thomas the Tank Engine is a self-absorbed and prideful diva. Anyway one of the reasons that I love Winnie the Pooh is he's completely childlike and sweet. And besides that, he's just so funny! Howie watched this movie for the first time on our visit to see Nana and Bible Bill for Thanksgiving, and on the airplane he was shrieking as loud as he could with laughter!! Anyway consider this my hearty recommendation of this movie.

Christmas in Peoria

We had a wonderful Christmas in Peoria! We left Teaneck on Monday morning (later than we wanted to, of course... it is SOOO hard to pack up 3 kids!! Practically have to take the entire house!) and arrived in Peoria Tuesday early evening. It was a loooong 20ish hours in the car, but the kiddos did remarkably well all things considered. It was great to be back in our room where we lived this summer and do all the things we get to do when staying at Grandma and Grandpa's, like playing with cousins and aunts and uncles and great-grandmas non-stop. The days went by far too quickly, as all vacations do, and though we wished that we could have stayed longer we cherished the time we got to spend with our loved ones who are just too far away now.

Here is precious Pax, or Paki as Justice calls him. What a handsome guy, right?

The boys loved watching Winnie the Pooh- I've never heard our boys laugh like they do during this movie!

Wren, the queen of Christmas, wearing her beautiful Christmas dress from Aunt Marnie and Uncle Chris

This was Wren on the way out... thoroughly exhausted by all of the fun

Precious Violet raiding Grandma's hallway closet

Justice got reacquainted with "cookies," or peppermint patties, which he discovered this summer at Grandma's house.

Wren displays another bit of Christmas finery

Wren had the pleasure of spending time with both of her great-grandmas. I failed to get a pic of her with Great-Grandma Fisher, but it was wonderful that she got to see these special ladies who have played such a huge role in my life.

Look at these two! Wren and Benji, Carrie's little boy, only 10 days apart! How cool is it to have a cousin that close in age?? It was so much fun to watch them together. This was their first meeting, but judging from the fact that they're already holding hands, it appears that they will be great friends. We're so grateful for cousin friends for our kids!

Wren and Benji endure the dreaded tummy time together! It's easier to put up with if you can do it with another baby!

We had a wonderful visit and are already looking forward to the next time we load up our van to the gills and hit the road.

Recreating Howie's Christmas Program

Howie had his Christmas program at school a few weeks ago and he did a wonderful job singing a song with his class. The whole program was over in about 15 or 20 minutes but it was really cute!! Howie hasn't ever seemed to be much of a performer- we went to a wonderful Bible study in St Louis that had an amazing children's program, and they would have a performance twice each year to showcase what the kids were learning. I don't think Howie ever did much singing up on stage, although he stood there reluctantly. So we weren't sure what to expect this year, but he sang his class song with gusto. I wanted to get a good picture but I couldn't get one that really showed Howie- too many eager parents leaning out to photograph!! These were the best I could do. We are so proud of Howie- he is growing so fast and learning wonderful things at preschool!

Here he is marching in with his classmates

Howie is the one standing behind the lady whose head is in the aisle- you can only see his shoes and jeans! But there he is! (Thanks a lot lady)

Since I wasn't able to get a good pic or video of the performance, I asked Howie to sing his song again right in front of our Christmas tree. He willingly obliged.

New Years Eve, Parents of 3 Sleeping Kids-Style

Though only a few miles from Times Square, this tells you all there is to say about our New Years Eve celebration this year:

me

Josh

1 bottle of Korbel

Madonna & MJ

some amazing dancing

3 sleeping kids upstairs

preaching in the morning

makes for a craaazy night that ends before midnight

Wren, the Queen of Pink

This girl is usually covered from head to toe in pink. It's a beautiful thing. Here she is wearing her princess outfit, as Howie calls her skirt.

Wren Shows Off Her Skillz

We're all very proud of her latest accomplishment!